I have no words for describe this week's watch-a-long movie "Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare" other then this movie craps all over and completely removes any scariness that Freddy had left and turns him into a cartoon clown. What should have been Freddy's big send off movie turned out to be the biggest pile of crap in the whole franchise. Instead of letting Freddy ride off in to that final dream on high, this movie leaves Freddy slinking away with his tail between his legs. We will forever curse the names of Rachel Talalay and Michael De Luca. Thank God Wes Craven came back to make "A New Nightmare" as a true and proper send off for one of horror's biggest icons.
Ep.237: Wishmaster
This week we're watching "Wishmaster", a late 90's movie about an evil genie that grants wishes that no one actually wished for. Filled with an all-star cast of 80's and 90's horror icons and a combination of great practical effects along with some down right laughable digital effects. This wild movie is bookended by two of the most epic opening and closing scenes we have ever seen, making this ridiculously insane movie a reverse sandwich; all the meaty goodness is on the outside which sadly means that it's mostly just bland filler in between.
Ep.236: Bloody New Year
Happy New Year Moongoons! We're bringing in 2022 in the craziest way we know how, by watching "Bloody New Year". This 1987 British horror movie may be the wackiest and wildest movie we've ever seen on the show. Zombies, ghosts, thugs, carneys, inanimate objects that have a life of their own and seaweed monsters are just some of the insane things that this movie throws at you. Pair all that with bad acting, no real plot to speak of, terrible low budget effects and you have the making of what might just be the perfect horrible horror movie. If "Bloody New Year" is not a cult classic, then it bloody well should be.
Ep.235: Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker
Christmas may be over but we're giving you one last Christmas present. This week we're putting a wrap on the "Silent Night, Deadly Night" franchise by unwrapping "Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker". After the horrible and inexcusable debacles that were "Silent Night Deadly Night 3 and 4" we could only imagine what an unspeakable sh!tfest we were walking into. This straight to video release features all the ingredients of the usual sh!t cakes that we're used to; poor script writing, bad acting, a loose plot, terrible name puns, a movie company desperately clinging to a dying franchise and pooping out another cash grab sequel, and a beloved aging actor that was just desperate for money. Yet something happened that we were not expecting, perhaps it was a Christmas miracle but somehow "Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker" turned out to be a wild, crazy and fun filled ride full of awesome death scenes and surprisingly good special effects. This fifth installment puts a fun and ridiculous bow on the lack luster and mishandled franchise that started off strong but went done the crapper faster then Santa Claus flying up a chimney.
Ep.234: Christmas Evil (1980)
Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas boy and girls. Have you been naughty or nice? You do not want to be on this Santa's naughty list. This week we're sitting by the fire sipping on eggnog and unwrapping "Christmas Evil". This 1980 Christmas horror movie features a mentally broken man who turns himself into Santa Claus and an ending that you have to see to believe. Nether adult nor child is safe from his wrath if they made his naughty list. Will this killer Santa movie deliver the presents or will it get stuck in the chimney?
Ep.233: Black Christmas (2019)
It's now December so you know what that means, its time for Christmas horror movies. We're kicking off this year's Christmas Horror Movie Spectacular with the overly-woke feminist manifesto that is the 2019 "Black Christmas". A remake that is not even a remake at all but just a sorry and lame attempt to cash in on the "Black Christmas" name, featuring an overly in your face, hit you over the head repeatedly feminist message, black inky goo, annoying characters and horrible plot hole filled writing. This is one Christmas present that we want to return.
Ep.232: The Rocky Horror Picture Show (watch-a-long)
Okay all you creatures of the night its time put on your red lip stick, pull up your thigh highs and tighten your corsets because it's time to do the Time Wrap Again. Join us this week for another watch-a-long episode as we watch and sing along to "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" a movie that Marshall historically can't stand.
Ep.231: Rob Zombie's Halloween 2
Do you like screaming, dark dirty houses that look like meth dens, the F word and ghost horses? Well then we found the movie for you. This year for Halloween we went big and are taking on Rob Zombie's "Halloween 2", a movie that is way more trick than treat.
Ep.230: Basket Case
Do you have the time to listen to us whine about a terrible horror movie...about a man(?) that lives in a basket? That's right we're finally opening the wicker basket and taking on one of the all time greats in bad horror movie history, the 1982 "Basket Case". This cult classic features terrible acting, bad writing, an awesome New York hotel owner, cheesy special effects and a glorious man perm mullet.
Ep.229: Hellbound: Hellraiser 2
You opened the box and we came! Oh what sights we have to show you this week as we take on Hellbound: Hellraiser 2. Just like the puzzle box this movie looks good on the outside with its awesome special effects and great gore make-up but the more you open it the weirder and more confusing it gets and before you know it you're stick in a hell of confusing plots and nonsense. But hey it still looks good.
Ep.228: Float Trip
Beer, babes, weed, cannibals, and rivers. Pack up the coolers with ice and beer because we're going on a little float trip this week and taking on "Float Trip". This little slasher is like a shorter indie mash up of "Wrong Turn" and "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and features some pretty decent special effects, kills and one of the best scenes we've seen in a movie in long time. But at the end of the trip will this bloody movie make down the river in one piece or will it sink to the bottom and become lost under the waves?
Ep.227: Don't Go in the Woods (2010)
We are frozen and on the verge of a rage age, what a waste of an American horror movie. Good God, Moongoons, this week's horror musical nearly caused Aaron to quit the show, it's that bad. Written and directed by Private Pile and the Kingpin himself Vincent D'Onofrio, this horror musical which is about 80% crappy music and 20% horror and features an obvious yet somehow incredibly confusing ending turned out to be one of the biggest disappointments we've ever had on the show.
Ep.226 Killer Unicorn
Drag queens, drugs, Unicorns, and fisting Oh My! In this fierce episode we deliver you the "T" about the gay indie slasher "Killer Unicorn". Put on your wigs and get out the tuck tape and follow along as a group of obnoxious and annoying gay guys and drag queens get stalked and killed by a muscle and fitness model wearing bright pink sequined booty shorts and a unicorn mask. What ever you do DON'T forget the lube!
Ep.225: Aquaslash
Summer is here and that means it’s time to break out the sun screen, swim suits, and inflatable rafts. This week we're cannonballing into the deep end of the sh!t pool to take on Jason Takes the Waterpark...I mean "Aquaslash". This Canadian indie movie starts out as a fun thrill ride down an awesome water slide but quickly turns into a boring drift down a piss filled lazy river. This short 70 something minute long movie is filled with dozens of delinquent high school graduate characters that you just don't really care about, so much drug use that it would even make Scarface cringe, infidelity, and long slow build up to a climax that gets over used and old real fast. What we wanted was great fun thrill-filled water park slasher but what we ended up getting was a boring kiddie splash pad.
Ep.224: Slaxx
A movie that gives new meaning to the term killer fashion! We watched "Slaxx" an indie movie about a possessed pair of killer blue jeans. With a premise like that how can you go wrong? What we were expecting was a campy crap fest but what we got was a shockingly well made, serious and bloody solid movie. Filled with good practical and special effects, pretty solid acting with two really good performances, good kills lots of blood and not to subtle messages about capitalism and the fashion industry, this movie is well worth trying on.
Ep.223: Party Night
Tuxes, Dresses, Limos, spiked punch and broken condoms, it's Prom season again so that means it's time for another Prom themed horror movie. This week our date is the 2017 "Party Night". This indie slasher rides the line between not being terrible and not being very rememberable or very good, leaving it in the dreaded pit of forgeability. The acting isn't that bad but its not good, the writing and plot are both straight from the horror movie 101 mold but on the plus side the kills and special effects are fairly decent with some uniqueness. However, one of its biggest flaws is that its supposed to be a Prom movie but there's no F*CKING PROM! But at the end of the night will "Party Night" be standing tall on stage as Prom Queen or will it be sitting alone crying on the bleachers? Listen in and find out.
Ep.222: Wrestlemassacre
Are you ready? No, I said ARE YOU READYYYYYYY!!! Finally...it's Wrestlemania time again and in honor of this most sacred holiday we're delivering on to you Ep.222 "Wrestlemassacre". This indie movie is crammed full of all the headlocks, elbow drops, body slams, and back breakers you crave. Staring a plethora of former wrestlers, several of which are WWE Hall of Famers and featuring some of the best gore and special effects we've ever seen in a low budget movie, and plenty of boobs and nudity to go around, "Wrestlemassacre" powerbombed our minds through a table. Now can you dig that, SUCKA? WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Ep.221: The Night Before Easter
Hip-pity hop-pity Moongoons, here comes the Easter Bunny hiding eggs and chopping off heads. I know on Easter people like to say "he is risen" but after watching this week's Easter movie "The Night Before Easter" the only thing risen is our blood pressure. This ultra-indie slasher features no redeeming qualities, bad stiff acting, terrible writing, horrible gore make-up effects, and characters devoid of any real personalities are all present here. The only thing we can say that his movie has going for it is the girl's are for the most part average to above average on the cuteness scale and that he movie is only a rabbit's hair longer than an hour. With that said when watching this movie it some how manages to break the space time continuum making an hour feel like an eternity.
Ep.220: Resident Evil (watch-a-long)
Grab your combat knife, Beretta 9mm, and all the green herbs you can carry because this week we're celebrating the 25th anniversary of "Resident Evil". We're sitting down and watching the 2002 film adaptation of our favorite video game franchise, the film that took something so new and dear to us and took a giant steaming Tyrant turd all over it.
Ep.219: Leprechaun 4: In Space
Well it was St. Paddy's Day again so you know what that means Moongoons. Yup, it’s time for another Leprechaun movie. This time we're putting on our space suits, hiring a squad of Space Marines and launching ourselves into space to take on "Leprechaun 4: In Space". A straight to video movie that features terrible CGI, grade school play quality sets, glorious over the top acting and stars a Tool Time Hottie, a Baywatch Babe, Demon from Friday the 13 part 5, an extra from "Full Metal Jacket" and a man-spider-scorpion.